The Court Finds For ...

Bob & The Pump
Originally uploaded by Kimpossible, HEM, PWTPI.

In the case of Kimpossible, HEM, PWTPI, Hottie, a.k.a., Bob

vs.

Northworst Airlines

Case #05GC11429, General Sessions Court, (Honorable William Holden presiding) the court finds for the defendant, Northworst Airlines, payer of WAY more money to their attorney in this case than they could've paid the plaintiff to shut her mouth and not bring attention to their awful airline in a public court where everyone was obviously siding with her from the get-go.

As the ruling is announced, there were GASPS ALL AROUND.

Yes, the court found in favor of the defendant EVEN THOUGH ...

• The plaintiff looked really lawyerly in her AT suit with the hazel eyes Almay i-color trio, and
• The Judge really wanted to side with her (as was evidenced by his personal testimony in dealing with damaged luggage), and
• The plaintiff gave a demonstration of the inner workings of breast pumps in court, while standing proud, and

EVEN THOUGH ...

• The defendant's attorney really needed some Almay i-color trio (I would recommend the brown or hazel for her too), and
• The plain-eyed attorney (heretoafter referred to as PEA) was CLEARLY nervous, and had to be asked to speak up several times, and The Judge was otherwise mean to her on two occasions, and
• PEA called a witness, a Northworst Airlines flight attendant who looked as if she would rather have been serving peanuts to terrorists, and
• PEA introduced two 500-page documents as evidence, and used said documents to prove that Kimpossible NEVER REALLY HAD A CASE TO BEGIN WITH.

Yes, EVEN THOUGH all of that happened, the court, astonishingly, STILL found for the fourth largest airline in the world.

Exeunt Kimpossible with head held high. To her car. Where she melted down into a puddle of tears, outrage, and defeat.

No, not really. Actually I just swung through the McDonald's drive-in and ordered large fries and a milkshake at 9:30 in the morning.

Oh well. Thanks to everyone for your support in this endeavor. I'd especially like to send a shout out of gratitude to my legal team, Bruce the F-i-L, bigshot DA, hottie M and her Husband, Bobby. And of course to Husband and The Goose, the source of all my inspiration.

Gavel.