Just call me the mop queen

OK, I had to post this really sweet picture of The Goose in order to get my mind off of how he treated me tonight. I nearly took him to the neighbor's house. For good. But then I put him to bed (at 6:45 p.m.), mopped the floor for the fourth time today, uploaded all of my photos from the day (my nightly ritual), and was reminded that I would be difficult too if I couldn't talk and anyway, look how beautiful he is! If you want to see more pictures, you can click on this one to go to my photostream.


I don't have much to say tonight and I'm mad about that. I always have things to say on Sunday nights, but for some reason, tonight I'm just yuck. I look forward to having things to say on Sunday nights whether or not anyone else thinks the things that I say (write) are really worth saying. I'm not offended by comments that this blog is like Seinfeld -- a show about nothing -- but to me, it's not NOTHING, people! It's all very real and not at all overly dramatized and serious and important. And speaking of redundancy ...

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"This will really work. These exercises are safe, effective, and they work!"
-- spandex-shorts guy from the "8 Minutes Abs" video

In the future I plan to do an entire post on the ridiculosity of workout videos. WHY DO THEY TREAT THE ENTIRE VIDEO AS IF IT'S THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE EVER WATCHED IT OR WORKED OUT AT ALL?!?!?!? The only ones I like are my Gaiam/Yoga Journal ones (especially those with Hot Rod -- Rodney Yee). If you need to be told which ones to avoid, here is a list:

• 8-Minute Abs with Bonus 8-min. Arms (not only does the talking guy annoy me in his zebra-striped unitard, but also the "experienced" model looks like a blond Joey Tribiani and is always behind both the beat of the music and the other people in the video. This makes me insane and I can't even look at him. Sometimes I have to just put down my handweights--"or tomato cans!"--in frustration).
• Arms & Abs of Steel (a Tammilee! video series -- she REALLY gets me going because she has just a portion of hair pulled up into a ponytail on the top of her head and she wears workout bikinis, and she discusses body types as fruit--and clearly I'm the pear and she's the hard, sculpted apple--and in general I just don't think she is that bright and why in the world does she sign her name all over the video box with an exclamation point at the end?)
• Hot Yoga with Barone Baptiste (Good Lord. This guy has spent entirely too much time in California and all the people in his videos are like extras in a porn flick. How am I supposed to accomplish ujayii (sp?) breathing in downward dog pose while he walks around adjusting the models buttox placement? Is buttox a count noun? I'm not sure I would know the answer to that if my students happen to ask in class this Wednesday. Can you say "buttoxes" ... or is it like "moose"? What about three mooses' buttoxes? Oh my goodness, this is as bad as the turtle ramblings from several weeks ago. Is anyone still reading? Bless your hearts.

I better just go to bed. But first, I have to do "P.M. Yoga with Patricia Walden," my Sunday night ritual. She isn't redundant or dressed inappropriately or stupid. But I do have to wonder how she got into the middle of that desert without making any footprints in the sand.