Things about which you may need an update ...

This is what I have to clean up several times a day. That's why I haven't had time to follow through on any official #1 PWT Detective Agency business.

I finally got a new camera with a four-year warranty. It is shiny.

I finally filed the complaint about NWA in court. Lord help us all.

I finally called about getting my child enrolled in a Mommy's Day Out program. Lord help the teachers.

I had just finished my afternoon toddy when the lady from a certain Baptist church near my house called to discuss the waiting list and setting up a tour date. This was how our conversation went (I like to write out conversations in case you haven't noticed):

Lady: Let me tell you a little bit about our program ... we have a Christian-based curriculum where we use every teachable moment to talk about the love of Jesus. We do lots of hands-on activities and kissing and hugging.

Kim (laughing hysterically): OMG, does Michael Jackson work there?!?!?

Lady: What?

Kim: Nevermind.

Lady: Anyway, your baby can stay on his own schedule and can come up to two days a week for 5 hours a day. We don't have availability for the 12-18 month class in the fall, but would you like to set up a tour and interview?

Kim: So you don't have availability for the fall?

Lady: No, but we can put you on our waiting list and sign you up for a tour and interview.

Kim: Sure, but can I ask you more questions first?

Lady: Yes, of course.

Kim: What are your teachers' credentials?

Lady: We hire only people that I know personally. I have been here for 30 years. The Lord has blessed us with longevity in this ministry under my direction, praise Jesus. We only hire people that I know personally. Like one time my daughter had a friend whose sister needed a job, and she was considered. I know that this method may cause us to miss a lot of good teachers, but I feel that it's very important for us to know them personally or through someone else.

Kim: What if your daughter knew Michael Jackson?

Lady: What?

Kim: Nevermind. Let me discuss this with my husband and call you back on Monday.

Lady: OK, but let me get your son's name.

Kim: It's Goose.

Lady: What?

Kim: It's Goose. Like Silly Goose. Like Tom Cruise's buddy in that flying movie ... what was the name of it? You know, the one where ...

Lady: "Top Gun"?

Kim: YEAH! Top Gun. Like that.

Lady: OK, why don't you just call me back?

Kim: OK, later tater!


Do you think they'll reserve me a spot?

Question(s) of the Day
Why do chiggers inevitably find the wobbliest wobbly bits on your body to secrete their saliva, let it set while it dissolves the tiptop portion of your epidermis, and then suck it all back up and jump off? How do they find their way outta there? (My husband probably wants to know how they found their way in.) TMI TMI TMI