Kim Laden

My husband has given me a new name: Kim Laden

Don't know how to pronounce it? Hint: it rhymes with Osama's last name. Do you think that means I'm like a terrorist declaring jihad in my own domicile? Boy does that lend new meaning to the term "domestic terrorism." Do you think metaphorical people eating has ever been declared an act of terrorism? Things to ponder.

I have other fun names too ... there's Kimmy Crack Corn (notice the use of Crack) and Kimberlytuna (and no, I did not get this name from eating a lot of tuna -- as everyone knows, tuna contains mercury and pregnant or nursing women should eat it only in moderation).

And then there are the signals, the most famous of which is the letter "B" in sign language placed on the forehead. I imagine that it stands for beautiful or buxom or some other such adjective, but I really think that it might stand for a not-so-nice noun instead.

Well, I'm off like a dirty shirt. A shirt stained with spit-up and sweet potatoes flung from an airplane-shaped spoon.