Trick-Shooting Penis

by Carrie Weir Spears

I'm now convinced it all begins in infancy with the trick-shooting penis. A male's tendency to CAUSE husband-eating is woven in their genetic make-up from birth. Here's how I know this
. . . my 6 day old infant son has a sharp shooting, trick penis. I'm convinced it has special capabilities. He can somehow manage to tee tee without ONE drop absorbing into the diaper, but soaking ALL that he is wearing. Think about this for a moment . . . hmmmmm . . . . I think a baby girl would inherently know that this causes undue stress and laundry strain on her mother and would therefore never attempt it. However, males (remember they're born with the tendency to CAUSE undue husband eating) will tinkly trickily to their hearts content. I'm currently devising a specific curriculum for my children (both males) to deter any future annoying behaviors to protect their wives. If I succeed, I'll let you know (and sell you a copy for 3 easy installments of $19.95)!