Snapshot of My Mind

I really should not be sitting here eating the rest of this lentil pilaf and brussels sprouts and drinking Husband's Kirin Ichiban but damn if it isn't all really good and anyway I've been instructed to stay up until he returns from the grocery store seeing as how we arrived home from the Northland last night to a house empty of ALL items that would be considered even remotely edible by even the lowest standards and then spent today in the doctor's office/hospital tending to The Goose's reactive airway issue.

I do this every Thursday night ... drink a few too many beers, finish off the leftovers from dinner, write something ridiculous, and then post it to the web. It's really something that should be on my New Year's resolution list of Things to Stop Doing ... along with fibbing about my credit card bills and handing The Goose grossly inappropriate items to fondle while I change his diapers. He has got to potty train himself soon or I'm going to go insane. Poor little diddums ... he's up there now sound asleep but barking like a seal with his Reactive Airway Cough: A fresh diagnosis from our beloved pediatrician who manages to always be at work despite the fact that she has four children under the age of six.

That's a lie. I have no idea how old her kids are. So there's another thing on the New Year's list to stop doing: Exaggeration for Effect.

Something is wrong with our printer. I hate it when something goes wrong with our computer or its relatives because there are always Things I Need to Do for which these items are required. Like tonight ... instead of unpacking all of our holiday shit, I am sitting here attempting to print up some "Happy New Year" cards for all the people who didn't get Christmas cards from us because either I ran out of stamps or didn't have their address or totally forgot about them and then got a Christmas card from them and was like, "Whoa! We forgot so and so."

And speaking of the holidays ... I am NEVER driving to my in-laws again. The trip back was bad enough what with the baby's fever shotting up to 103 degrees, and the rain, but the trip there ... on Christmas Eve ... we were supposed to leave for the 11-hour trip at 5:30 p.m., right after Husband got off work ... but at noon, his boss called and said, "Kee-um, I'm lettin' Brine off at 2:30 but don't you go be tellin' him. I just called you so you could be gettin' ready."

Enter Kim stage left ... neurotic and totally disorganized. having spent the morning doing things which should've been LOW on the priority list of things to do before you leave for a trip: Watching The Sound of Music in Spanish ... mopping the floor ... attempting to make cutesy bows for all the gifts ... calling my mom to report mindless chitchat. So then I realized that oh my lord the baby hasn't been outside all day and he can't possibly make this drive without having burnt off some energy splashing in mud puddles so off we go to do that and then he's filthy and needs a bath and all I have packed so far is my red cowgirl boots which I didn't even freakin' wear.

And then I started burning copies of one of The Goose's new kids CDs as a gift to send his friend Babybird, my boyfriend. And then I decided that I really needed to back up all of our .mpg files of The Goose ... and what I really need is some sleep.

Do y'all do stuff like that? Just ridiculous stuff that you can't believe you'd do and then sit around writing about? No, you don't. But look at you sitting there reading about how I do it. That's worse, people, so there. Kirin Ichiban is not even that good and now the baby's screaming and I've gotta go.

Happy New Year.